I am sitting here , thousands of miles away from Chris ( My son ) when I received a call from him. He was in the vets, and facing a choice no one ever want to be in.
Oscar, our cat, and Chris’s companion from childhood, was in pain and had internal problems, in short, Chris had a choice, keep his best companion alive, in pain, and not eating, or give permission to put his friend asleep.
Moving to Thailand was hard for me, and in many ways, an easy decision, and in some, but with regards to Chris, an extremely hard one.
I know that if I was there with him now, or with him when Oscar was put to sleep, literally within the last hour as I am typing this, ( 17:21 Hrs on 18 April 17 ) I could give him some comfort, but I do know , from my experience, it will only help a bit. It is something that we all deal with , in one way or another. It’s a personal loss, and a personal; grief, and we are the only ones who know how much it affects us .
We all cope in our own ways, and we all have to go through the various stages of grief, Denial, anger, bargaining depression and then acceptance. In circumstances like this , you can skip a couple of stages, and anger is the main.
In my last job as a policeman, bargaining was a big thing, and I have done it so many times, the two words that can cripple you “What if” What if, I had done something sooner, what if I had taken a different path, what if I had said something else, and the list goes on,
We want to put a blame on something, even if its ourselves, put a peg into a wrong shaped hole, try to put some kind of logic to a unlogical thing. Some people find solace in their God, other in logic or science.
Others like me, may find some solace in putting words to print and putting it in a blog. So this is my way of coping. I have lost two pets , one Lucky a dog , who, I only knew for a few weeks here in Thailand , who, caught a virus and died a slow and long death. Now, Oscar, a cat who I have known for a very long time and with all his personality and loving, he was a family member.
I know I hear people say, I am a dog person, I am a cat person, well, mmmmm I love both. A cat, I believe the a cat owns you, and that you are their pet, and cat owners will understand, They give their love honestly and at times are a pain in the proverbial, but it an honest love. Now a dog, and I can say this , a new dog owner, is a completely differently one, they are loyal to a fault and when they bond, its total and unhidden.
Two completely different pets , two completely different ways they can touch and fill your heart. One thing in common, when they go and depart this earth, a huge hole is missing.
The Thai’s don’t understand this way of thinking, I see cats and dogs around the home, but at a distance. When they see Leo , they are totally surprised that he smells nice and so well-behaved. Don’t get me wrong they are not cruel, but look on pets in a completely different way.
Like me, Chris is an animal lover, either you are or you are not, Chris does take it to a new level, and I know he is suffering a lot. He has known Oscar for most of his life , he has had to tell the vet to put a friend to sleep, and that, regardless of ages is a very hard thing to do. Speaking from experience, dealing with a cost one, or a pet, is hard especially for the first time , is a bummer.
I can hear people say, Jez it’s only a pet, it does not matter what it is, it what the person feels that matters.